Does the “Perfect Divorce” Exist?

With the Right Mindset & Goals, Great Outcomes Can be Achieved

Last year, the New York Times ran a multimedia project titled The Perfect Divorce. The piece told the story of one couple’s journey from love to divorce, with changing priorities and life crossroads along the way, followed by an amicable split and continued pursuit of happiness. Which leads us to the question: does the perfect divorce exist?

The first step in considering that answer is realizing that what’s “perfect” for one person won’t be for somebody else. Therefore, a divorce that is perfect, or as close to perfect as possible for you specifically, is one that matches your goals, preferences, and priorities. That’s why it’s essential to begin the process by taking the time to determine what it is that you’re looking to achieve, and how you’re looking to do so.

For instance, for some individuals, eliminating stress, as well as the time and potential ugliness of a drawn out courtroom battle, is the top priority. In such instances, divorce mediation is an option which is bound to produce the best outcome. Each party has more direct control over the final resolution, in a setting in which compromise can be more easily achieved, as long as both sides are willing.

In other instances, fighting for child custody or other specific outcomes and obtaining that goal above all others is more important, and a hard-fought and aggressive courtroom battle may be appropriate instead. That might produce the “perfect” outcome for you here, but not for the person who would have preferred a more amicable mediation process.

It’s also essential to keep in mind your changing life priorities. Now more than ever, people are taking control over the directions of their lives at all steps of the journey. That’s why the prevalence of so called gray divorces is continuing to increase so greatly. It’s never too late to get the fresh start that you crave, and achieving that outcome with a divorce later in your life may be perfect in and of itself.

So is the perfect divorce possible? It may be difficult to achieve, but the answer is yes. With the major caveat that it can only be perfect for you if it’s aligned with your own goals and priorities.